


Call Me Shuuhei

by OccultDawn



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Battle, Despair, Drama, M/M, Possession, Romance, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-28 17:27:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccultDawn/pseuds/OccultDawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji is drinking alone on the bar thinking about his friends and the war when his ex-lover appears for a talk things get more out of hand than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [this fis is a gift for someone very special for me](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=this+fis+is+a+gift+for+someone+very+special+for+me).



> Again, sorry for the english, I'm really trying to improve it.

Somewhere in a bar on Sereitei a red haired fukutaichou was looking to his own bottle of saké, alone sit in the usual table he and his friends used to be, no one had come again today. He took a look around the bar, hearing low ranks talking about the war, cheering, making toasts to Soul Society victory, what did they knew?...he thought..they know nothing. He sank in his chair not wanting to be noticed after all that table was the most hidden of them all. He took a sip directly from the bottle thinking in the last terrible events.

The Winter War had finished only two weeks ago but inside everyone souls at least, the ones that fought that hideous battle, the war of feelings was still ongoing. He was ripped from his thoughts from a loud laughter that came from a low rank, ranting about how amazing the squads have been, and about Ichigo. " Fucking ridiculous..." he murmured to himself, did they won something?...did they?...if yes...at what cost? To win something one has to make sacrifices and those were to high.

Some scars would be open for many more years, his friends, his precious friends..Hinamori was in a coma, she almost died and there was no certain if she will ever wake up. Kira...had an perfect behaviour facing the enemy and after, but he knew he wasn't alright, Renji caught him in the Third Division barracks looking at the persimmons trees as if he was in a daze..away from this world. Rukia almost died there too if it wasn't for Kuchiki-taichou. Ichigo, the boy did go to hell and came back, was told that his life was all planned and now he was loosing his powers and probably he would not see anyone from here anymore...and Hisagi..he fought his own taichou that was finally able to see but was blinded by madness...how strong could his senpai had been, his maturity to face his own taichou in that critical condition.

Renji sighed, head down thinking about his close friends, taking sips, suddenly he felt a shadow above him, he lifted his head to see who it was and for his surprise his friend and senpai was there looking at him.

" Abarai? What are you doing here?...Are you already healed from your wounds?" he asked curious as he pulled a chair to sit in front of his kouhai, Renji following every move of his with his eyes.

" Well...yeah I know I was beaten up pretty bad...", he scrached his head hissing at the thought, " ..but I heal fast.." he said with a sad smile taking a look at Hisagi, he had aged a lot in this last two weeks, his face was tired..defeated, he stared a bit at him

" Don't tell me I look like shit..." he rolled his eyes.

"...you really look like shit..." Renji smiled sadly, nothing pains him more than see his friend, senpai and former lover in this state, his hair was messy, his skin aged, dark circles around his eyes. "...you have to calm down.." he took a sip from the bottle.

"...yeah..I haven't slept much." he sighed, "I was with Kira until now, I have been spending some nights with him, I also did go see Rangiku-san...she is always with Hitsugaya-taichou so I guess that's fine, Hinamori is still in a coma, Unohana-san says if we talk to her she probably can hear us...and I have to take care of the 9th, things just don't stop because of the war. I have to support my division." he lifted an arm to make a sign to the waiter ordering sake.

Renji's heart was hurting since the first sentence...he still had feelings for his senpai, they had shared beautiful moments but things got complicated and they were separated for almost two years now, but Renji couldn't forget, in fact..he will never forget.

" That is really great and all but you need to take care of yourself, you take care of everyone and who is taking care of you?" Renji had a pained expression in his face, in fact he knew his words were useless...and this was what ruin their past, being in love with someone that kind was rather difficult, he had to share him with everyone and this type of good people always put other's happiness as priority and his love life was placed in the last spot...Renji was placed for last.

" I have a day-off tomorrow...and...I thought I would find you here." he said taking a sip of his sake, closing his eyes to enjoy the taste.

" Yeah. I've been coming here since I'm healed..in the hope of..." he sighed, "...whatever.." he took a sip of his own too.

Silence filled the air as they were drinking, they look at each other in the eyes, so much they have to say but none would give the first step, so much pain, some resentments too, they continued their drinking without a sound. They knew what no one could understand, their relationship had been intense, full of lust and promises made in the heat of the moment, both were remembering it now, sitting at the bar, drinking sake and looking at dark and amber orbs..also frowning at the way things ended, a terrible fight full of cries and agressions..and the next thing Renji knew his lover was gone.

The air was thick and heavy, Renji wanted to get out of there he opened his mouth to say something but in a flash a finger was in his lips.

"You know...this recent events had make me realize that...there are things we can never let go because they could not be here tomorrow." he looked at Renji seeking for some answer.

" Just don't...damn Hisagi ...don't do that to me" the redhead lowered his head.

" What?...I had made a mistake..." he placed his hand above Renji's, " I should have never left you...I.." he was interrupted by Renji that took of his hand roughly from touching him, he widened his yes at the reaction but he couldn't blame him, he understood what he was feeling.

" Damn..Hisagi-san.." Renji was speaking between his teeth almost hissing, " I will never forget you, never...but I won't be together with you again, you always put me for last..and I am possessive..I know it's my fault too." he looked around the bar but they were pretty isolated from other tables, before he could finished his words a pair of lips in his own, Renji faltered, those rough lips on his were making him forget his resolution, he stood up breaking the kiss, " I should ...just...go..." Hisagi was looking up at him with a sad look in his eyes, he placed his hand on his head and when Renji started to walk he grabbed him by his arm standing up, narrowing his eyes at his former lover he took a chance again, "...come with me...to my room" a firm rough voice spelled those words with the most confidence ever and Renji couldn't resist that.

Following him to the Nine Division barracks, Renji entered with the other fukutaichou in his room, closing the door behind them, they stood there looking at each other not saying a word. " I shouldn't had come" the redhead said turning around to leave the place but was stopped by bronzed arms that were wrapped around his waist.

" Senpai..."

" Don't call me senpai here..." he took the chance to lick Renji nape below his ponytail.

" Hisa..."

" Call me Shuuhei as you always did inside this walls" he kissed Renji's neck.

The redhead turned around and placed a hand in the tattooed face, such a rebel appearance to a mature and kind personality, Hisagi was always the most adult of them all...contrasting with him. Renji couldn't resist that bronzed lips, those dark pearls, he kissed him deeply pushing his tongue inside to devour and explore that moist cave and the other answered with the same passion, Renji leaned at the door and pulled Hisagi with him, hands were digging everywhere inside the clothes, the redhead was caressing his former lover arms...how much he adored them, so perfect as he was feeling the other hands running around his chest..both let out a throaty moan inside their mouths, they started to ravish their mouths...wild kisses..tongues dancing in an erratic rhythm, they wanted to eat each other alive.

Renji dig one hand inside Hisagi clothes and started to caress his member pumping a few times up and down going a bit below to caress his balls too, the other moan at that and did the same to the redhead, both moaned breaking the kiss and slid down the door to sit at the ground, they got close to each other and removed both members out, they were hard as a rock, looking at each others eyes they joined both cocks and seized them with their fingers interlacing them, moving up and down at the same time.

Panting hard Renji looked at them, it always mesmerized him how much equal they look, the skin tone, the size, everything. he placed his forehead in his senpai and looked at those dark orbs pumping harder, now they were with their mouths open, panting, moaning not breaking eye contact, so intense...such passion...they moved harder and faster, their sweat was starting to mix in both foreheads, they were close, their moans were louder, there was no rhythm now, just desperation to achieve climax, they both came with a gasp, hot liquid dripping in both hands mixed, they jerked themselves off until the last drop not removing their hands after, they stayed quiet for a few seconds trying to regain control.

Renji placed a hand in the bronzed cheek and kissed him deeply...he knew this was not over yet and wasn't enough to satisfy both...their members were already twitching for more..they will be indulging in each other for hours, their sex was always fierce and savage, he didn't knew if this was leading somewhere, they probably will never be lovers again but for now he was going to follow Hisagi to his futon, he was going to take care of him and give everything he would demand.


	2. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Renji and Shuuhei first encounter after they had broke up long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually my first lemon, not that I had made a lot but anyway hope you like it.

A thin ray of light was shinning through the hole of the half-shut window in that small room, hitting a tattooed forehead, amber orbs opening slowly. As Renji was waking up he felt an extremely nice warmth from behind, the one only skin can provide, an arm was holding him by the waist and dark hair was resting in his shoulder, he looked behind above it, watching the tattooed face resting peacefully and silentely, they were cuddling, totally naked, there was nothing that could compare to this, two tanned, bronzed bodies entwined in each other. Renji turned at front again digging his head on the pillow trying to escape the annoying light, thoughts and images from last night started to invade his mind. How both were hot, how they were needy, how their bodies synchronized perfectly without them saying a word, how the moans echoed inside the room and how they came more than once.

Renji looked down, their legs were interlaced and he felt Hisagi's body shiver lightly, a thought of how could they possibly ended this years back because of a stupid fight, because of some jealousy that clouded their minds, they were too young and proud, the war sure changed some views in the redhead mind and he was sure that this happened to his former lover too, that's why last night events happened..what if...what if..they had not survived this, too much would be left unsaid and undone and what if another war strike them again, will they survive?..They were shinigami, they had responsibilities and duties and one of those is to die in battle if necessary, protecting Sereitei, Soul Society and mostly their loved ones.

He felt Hisagi shivering again behind him, the red-head shifted slowly his position so now he was turned to the brunette, he saw him frowning a bit and relaxing the face again, he smiled glad the other didn't woke up. He stared at that gorgeous face admiring the perfect and rough lines, he trailed with his eyes that luscious body, the perfectly defined abs, tanned long legs that finished with an amazing muscled ass, Renji was starting to get hard only by looking at his partner. He looked up again, with a finger he traced very lightly the length of a bronzed arm..how he loved those arms, he trailed it until he reached the rough hand that was rested in a thigh close to his member..Renji own's twitched getting bigger, he lick his lips and his insides grew hotter, his asshole clenched slightly almost as he was feeling Hisagi's cock still inside him from last night. Shuuhei shivered again and Renji looked quickly at his face, he grabbed a thin blanket that was on their feet and pullet it above covering them too, he felt the other body relax.

The sixth division lieutenant slipped down under the blanket until he reached the other lieutenant waist, he massaged the other thighs feeling him change his position with his stomach up, hungry eyes looking in the dark inside the thin fabric that permited some light, to the other member, the redhead licked his lips, it was so hot in that place that he couldn't wait no more and he trailed the length presented in front of him from the base to tip with his wet tongue, the body below him stiffened and hummed, smirking the redhead took the member full into his mouth moving slowly up and down a few times receiving a moan, he felt the blanket flying away an he looked up.

A drowsy just woken up Hisagi was looking down at him as he continued sucking, " Hmm..A-Abarai..." he moaned, Renji grabbed the member and sucked hard two times making a sloppy sound at the tip licking it, "..Good morning senpai.." he said grinning an then returning to his ministrations, working with his mouth that already very hard dick. He sped up his sucking grabbing it hard with one hand, the other running around in perfect abs, he pressed the lips around the cock creating more friction and a rough hand was in his head pulling his red locks. He sucked harder and faster now, pressuring even more his lips around it, from time to time he let his teeth touch the sensitive skin, scratching it lightly, tongue playing with it, rolling around in tip when he pulled up finishing with a light bite.

" Uhmph..ah..fuck.." Hisagi moaned now loudly, he was at bliss. How he missed being woken up like this, it was pure heaven. He loved Renji's blowjob, how wild it was just like him, the hard sucking, the masterful tongue, the light touch of his teeth, his devilish canines, the amber look he was giving him, fierce, dangerous like a tiger. With a hand pulling red hand the other reached for his pillow clenching it, he wouldn't last long. Renji was sucking him like he was mad for lust, speeding up even more, engulfing every single inch of that perfect member, saliva dripping from his mouth to his chin. He let a throaty moan out causing some light vibration inside his wet cave receiving moan from the other, his hand let the abs to travel in the direction of Shuuhei's balls playing and massaging them.

"...ah..so fucking close.." the brunette moaned and Renji continued devouring his meal until hot liquid was invading his mouth and a loud moan echoed inside the room, "..ugh..fuck..." Hisagi clenched his hands one in Renj's hair and other on the pillow letting his partner sucking him until the last drop was out. Breathing hard he looked at the fierce face, it was smirking at him, licking his lips, crawling on top of his body.

The redhead whispered on his ear, " Tasty...", he then kissed the brunette with passion, roughly receiving right away the same treatment, they held each other tight as they were making out until Renji broke the kiss, " I'm so fucking hard.." he grabbed the bronzed ass cheeks and spread them, Hisagi was grinning at him already knowing the other intentions, " ..horny bastard.." he let out a chuckle as he said that, Renji trailed his hands inside the thighs and spreaded roughly the long legs whispering in Hisagi's ear, " You know I am, not my fault you are so fucking hot." With this he stood up looking down hungrily at his senpai which stood up two to face him. The brunette licked his partner cheek and smiled at him after in a provocative way, still smiling he turned around bending down his ass up in the air, face resting on the pillow looking up his shoulder to Renji. He reached his ass cheeks and spreaded them letting the redhead with a marvellous sight, he knew this would drive the other crazy, he knew it so well he was smirking like an idiot.

Renji gulped at the perfect sight, he could come right there only by seeing that tight asshole, he exhaled slowly to calm his heart, beating like it was going to explode. In an instant his tongue was ravishing that hole, hands clenching on the ass spreading it to the fullest, preparing him will be a torture because Renji was already close, no one could make him feel that horny, his member was pulsing begging to be inside those wonderful tight walls. He fucked Hisagi with his tongue fiercely, pushing inside hard, curling the tip of his tongue.

The senpai was already getting mad below him, moaning, breathing hard and then a finger was inside pushing in and out together with the tongue, Renji's saliva licking on the spot leaving the brunette amazingly wet. The tongue was out and a second finger was pushing inside working with the other in a moderate speed, spreading the hole from time to time, in and out almost hypnotizing Renji, that sight of his senpai engulfing his rough fingers.

Hisagi was feeling hard again, Renji worked on him so meticulously and so the way he loved it, they knew each others bodies and reactions so well, their connection was beyond deep and if he was already like that he knew Renji would enter him in a few, he knew how mad in lust the other was. He looked back again over his shoulder, the red-head was already positioning himself behind him standing up on his knees, suddenly the fingers were out and something bigger, hotter and thicker was inside him, filling his insides in one go, roughly, in a powerful thrust. Both let out a loud throaty moan.

" Damn..fuck..hmm..Hisagi..you are always so fucking tight.." Renji said between hard breaths steadying himself so he wouldn't come right away. The other was panting hard, lost in the sensation of being filled, " ah..hmm..just move already..". At this command Renji started to move slowly, painfully slow but powerful thrusts steadying himself grabbing the muscled ass cheeks spreading them to the fullest, watching his member disappear inside the delicious hole breathing hard, panting. He rolled his hips seductively, his own body starting to get extremely hot, drops of sweat appearing in his exotic bronzed skin.

Panting and moaning Hisagi looked above his shoulder again, what an exciting sight it was, red hair falling on broad wide shoulders, the tattoos dancing as the perfectly well built body moved, strong hands holding him and that face, a fierce look in those eyes like a wild animal, the canine biting the lower lip to control, the brunette knew Renji soon would lost control.

The redhead only needed a few pushes to hit his senpai sensitive spot, when he found it the other arched his back followed by his head letting out a loud moan, now he could go all out but he decided to torture his partner for bit not moving from that spot.

" uhg..ah...damn Abarai..just fucking move.." Hisagi almost begged and Renji aplied grinning clenching his nails on the skin pushing in and out mercilessly, fucking him with all he got, " ..Harder..faster.." Hisagi commanded between moans and the redhead lost control, he thrust into that gorgeous luscious body fiercely, faster and harder as he was letting out guttural moans as he watched the other lost in sensation below him. The sound of the slapping between skins was filling the room, both moan in pure pleasure and lust, cursing between them.

Hisagi stood up and grabbed the red tresses hard feeling his cock pulsing for release, not slowing down Renji grabbed him by the waist with brute force and pulled him even more close to him, both bodies were glued to each other, the tattooed chest rubbing in the perfectly marvellous back, both coated with sweat, their wet bodies connected so deeply.

The redhead licked the back of the brunette neck and sped up in short, powerful thrusts in an erratic rhythm, he grabbed Hisagi's member with his free hand and started to pump as fast and hard as he could ear as a reward a loud moan. Hisagi was pulling the red locks hard and used his free hand to go behind around Renji's ass and inserting without warning his finger inside receiving a bite on his shoulder.

Loud, animalistic moans of pleasure were echoing, the more they were close the more louder they got, Hisagi thrusting his finger inside Renji, pulling his hair. The redhead fucking the other senseless and jerking him off at the same time, skin with skin, the duet of cursing and moaning, the climax was there for both at the same time. Renji felt the hot liquid coming out from his senpai member and coating his hand and Hisagi felt his hole being filled until the last drop with his partner slowing down his movements.

Renji bit the brunette ear as he was releasing, "..Sh-Shuuhei..hmm." he whispered in his high, Hisagi turned his head to the side, "..Renji..." he moaned. They both stood there after their moment of ecstasy, breathing hard, calming down from their lust explosion. Still connected Renji turned his partner head to him and he leaned forward smashing his lips in him for a sloppy, full of tongue and hot kiss and his mouth received the same treatment. They both broke the kiss looking deep in the eyes of each other panting, none wanted to move but they were worn out from all this lusty journey.

Hisagi was the first to laid down on the futon pulling Renji by the hand close to him, the redhead placed his head in the bronzed chest, he could hear the other still fast heart bits, the brunette held him with his arms, they were covered in sweat, dirty with come, they didn't care, never cared in past too, it was their moment, the remains that resulted from a connection of pleasure, lust, friendship and love, an interrupted one but with the previous night and this morning they knew that nothing was lost, their feelings were intact even deeper now that they were older. They didn't spoke about it but each one of them knew inside and most importantly..they felt it.

" Good we have the day off..hã?" Hisagi was the first to break the silence.

Renji chuckled below him and looked up smiling "..yeah..that sure is damn good." he blinked grinning, " Wait...is that an invitation for more?" and both laughed. " Why not?" the brunette replied smiling as he saw the other wide his eyes, " Ahaha..you are freaking on" they laughed again at each other looking deeply into their eyes, amber meeting dark orbs and everything was said, they didn't need fancy words, deep ones. They only need to stay by each other side. They stayed there, embraced, the laughs long lost, listening to their breaths.

Would they stay together from now on, will this work out, something that failed before? Well for now they just want to be close and take it all from every second of it.


	3. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuuhei goes to see Renji after his training, what was suppose to be a happy encounter turns out to be a scary surprise.

It had already passed two weeks after that day-off Hisagi and Abarai had passed together and things were not good or bad, in fact they weren't, they didn't even exist. They indulged together for the entire day and simply followed their paths the next morning, each one to his duties. There were no soft words spoken, no promises, just sad smiles as they got up to a new day.

It wasn't easy to build a relationship from the ashes after it failed once, too many things were said and done, some of them terribly painful, even with their new resolution that it's better to be together before it was too late, yes, both thought that way but couldn't say it out loud. They were both somewhat stubborn and hot boiled, poison to a love couple. They didn't knew but they surely completed each other.

Renji was training in the middle of a place like a canyon, his torso was naked and his skin was shinning from the coat of sweat, it was afternoon and the sun was burning. His eyes were closed indicating concentration, he felt a light breeze touching crimson locks making them swirl slightly. Trying to concentrate all of his reiatsu he lift his zanpakutou already in its shikai form pointing at front gave a deep breathe.

"Bankai!" He opened his eyes, narrowed them, "Hihio, Zabimaru!" he shouted. Suddenly like an explosion, a massive snake skeleton appeared howling like it came from hell, its creeping-like body, moving around him like preparing to squeeze but it's to protect him. Its huge bony head coming from behind and hovering above him, its red fur around the neck made it even more grotesque. Renji also changed receiving some kind of a brown furred cowl placed above his shoulders.

He and his zanpakutou had a great connection, he had to train of course, like everyone but he could control it pretty well, even when he first fought his own taichou, a fight that damaged his precious other side of his soul with no return, he had to train more, to be fully in harmony with his soul and the zanpakutou, the said other part of him.

"Hikotsu Taiho!" Zabimaru howled in the air, opening its mouth blasting a huge red sphere of spiritual energy making disappear the massive rocks it was pointing to. It wasn't still enough, Renji thought he was still too weak, he needed more strength and this attack left him drained because it uses most of his own energy. He called back Zabimaru to his normal sword form. His breaths were hard and he decided to fresh himself in a nearby stream.

He got on his knees and leaned close to the water, diving both hands in the cold liquid, splashing the water on his face to cool himself down.

"You are getting stronger day by day, it's impressive.", a voice came from behind him and when Renji looked back he saw Hisagi leaned against a tree.

"Yeah. Said the person who is already a taichou-level without bankai" remarked the redhead, Hisagi sure had an amazing power, he could fight as an equal to a taichou if he wanted to, he sit right on the spot he was.."This is much cooler here. So what are you doing here Hisagi-san?" Renji was still sweaty so he removed his upper clothes.

The other fukutaichou walked to the redhead sitting beside him "I was training nearby and then I felt your reiatsu, I decided to stop by..it's really huge your bankai, beautiful in a rough way." The brunette eye stareing at that chest and back, mesmerized with its tattoos and forms.

The redhead looked to the side and tilted slightly his head looking deep at dark pearls.."Just like me, ne?" he teased in a playful way.

"Abarai.." the other replied smirking and hitting the bronzed arm with his elbow. Hey both laugh at that. Great, they could be as they always were. Actually it was never a problem to them, they had a messy relationship in the past, they were both too young but still, when they were together, this feeling of ease could not be erase, they were first and foremost close friends and that bond couldn't be broken no matter what happens.

The redhead changed his position to face the other "I was about to meditate and connect with Zabimaru and I was thinking..How are you and Kazeshini?"

Hisagi leaned back supporting himself on his elbows sighing, he looked up watching the tree leafs dancing in the wind, "It's a hideous place.." he whispered, "..and I get reluctant that if I go any further one part of me would go away, that scares me...the power, the rage, the fear, it can consume me."

Renji narrowed his eyes and looked down at the dark-haired man, "Face it!". He could see fear in dark orbs looking at him, "You believe that we can't fight without fear and you are right but that doesn't mean we can't face it."

The other looked up at him confused."We?" he asked. Renji leaned down, hands on each side of the brunette head, his lips just an inch from the other's.."Meditate with me, if something happens I'm right beside you senpai." The redhead couldn't stay away from those lips and mostly after that night, he dreamt every night with his senpai and former lover. He planted a smooth and light kiss on rough lips which was responded by the brunette wrapping his arms around his neck and deepening the kiss, in a second both mouths were open and tongues were moving in a wet and heated dance, the kiss was long and passionate, both broke it at the same time, looking in each other's eyes panting. The redhead narrowed his eyes and whispered with his rough, rusty voice.." Senpai," he liked his lips,"..make love to me." and he rubbed his body on the other.

Hisagi widened his eyes and closed them. It was this he wanted when he first met Renji in the bar, he was finally seeing the other accepting that they couldn't be away from each other and that was...the most important thing in the world. He placed his hand on the other cheek, rubbing it with his thumb, he opened his eyes and yes, Renji was still there, with wanting plastered all over his face. "I.." he was about to say something but it was still too soon for it, for those words were already spoken in the past and things didn't work out so well.

The fukutaichou of the sixth leaned forward and placed his forehead together with the other's, "..Don't.." he shook his head.."...force yourself, there's nothing that can be said that could possibly be compared to this." he ran his fingers over dry lips, then he kissed them with hunger. He wrapped his arms around the other and turned them around switching their positions, pulling his senpai to him kissing him passion, "Make love to me.." he whispered in the ear licking it and biting the earlobe. Hisagi, speechless, moved slowly undoing the redhead lower clothes, removing them carefully, after his partner was all naked he ran his hands from the legs to his chest, caressing the bronzed skin lightly, just taking a sweet moment to mesmerize that body, he reached for the other head and untied the hair band making red hair spill on the grass contrasting against everything around.

Smiling tenderly Renji reached forward with an arm and wrapped it around Hisagi's neck pulling him closer to him, kissing all over his face, his other hand working on the other's clothes.

Both were now naked and the two bodies rubbing against each other were sweaty. Bronzed, tanned tattooed, exotic in their own ways, they kissed, touched, caressed like they were both precious gems, Hisagi above Renji, stradled between his legs, hands running through muscled legs, the redhead caressing the other arms and shoulders, a hand touched his scar on the face, rubbing his thumb on it as both cocks were touching making them hard and leaking. Low, throaty moans were lost between the two souls, the movements were slow and meaninfull, both rolling their hips, pushing against each other for more friction.

Renji caressed dark hair and looked into dark orbs, "You're beautiful." he whispered between pants, the other smiled and kissed lightly rough lips, his hand caressing both cocks moisten his fingers with both semen using it after to push more easily two fingers inside the redhead making him frown at first and then letting out a moan, the brunette pushed even deeper scretching the other, he waited no more and thrusted with his own very hard member inside, slowly, in one go.

The two stood still for a precious moment as soon as Hisagi was all in, arms wrapped around each other, their skin touching, Renji locking the other with his legs between him, both were breathing hard looking into each others eyes...a silent promise, an unvoiced contract. They would be together from now on, between pants they both smiled probably thinking they had never done like this before, just pure and rough sex, they needed this and it was absolutely and deeply amazing to not be overflowed with feelings, why had they waited so much time?..They wouldn't know and it didn't matter anymore.

Finally the brunette started to move, pushing in deeper and pulling out, painfully slowly, getting out of the redhead small, low and guttural sounds, he stared at that face, the features he so much loved, they waisted so much time, none of that anymore, the future was uncertain but one thing he was sure..he wouldn't left this man again.

None of the two could take away their stare from each other nor breaking the tight embrace, they wanted to absorb all in, feeling all the feels, making all the promises, becoming one single soul and body. Hisagi leaned forward and placed his sweaty forehead on top of Renji's hitting his prostate with a thrust at the same time, the redhead frowned from the pleasure, opened his mouth and let out a moan then kissing the other lips. They indulged in this for some time, the brunette rolling his hips slowly, thrusting inside the others body as they were both linked in every possible way, the path for the climax coming in a paced way, in shock pleasure waves, slowly breaking in.

Renji clenched his fingers on the bronzed back digging his nails, Hisagi was doing the same but abusing the broad and tattooed shoulders, still with their forehead attached at each other and looking inside their souls they continued.

"It's fate.." the brunette whispered between his hard pants and moans.

"I know.." the other answered between his own pleasure high.

"It must be Renji.." he was so close, his voice here was accidentally blown out with a more high pitch and a moan after. He let go of one tattooed shoulder and moved his hand down, jerking the redhead hard but with a slow pace.

"Yes..Shuuhei"." he answered with a moan digging even more his nails receiving a moan.

The fukutaichou of the ninth sped his pace just slightly because he was anticipating their releases, he thrust and pumped the other at the same rhythm until they both came at the same time, hot liquid flowing inside the rehead and between hot skin, not closing his eyes, the pleasure running through their bodies like a shock, both gaping at first, then Renji bit his lower lip and arched his back a bit, Hisagi frowned moaning, the two looking at each other, they wanted to see everything, they wanted to see the pleasure, the love, the wanting, the desperation in both souls, why were they together, what did it meant in their faces and it was overwhelming. As the peak of climax was passing and they started to come down from his high they kissed hungrily smashing their lips, tongue and teeth in a sloppy way, shutting hard their eyes giving out their souls.

They broke the link and stared at each other again panting, suddenly both smiled in a tender way, the smiled turned into a chuckle that gave his way to laughter, they were both so happy they could explode.

Hisagi pulled out from Renji kissing his forehead and got out from above him, laying with his back against the grass besides the other. He was still breathing hard.

"Damn it's so hot.." he said smiling and turned his head to look at the other.

"Thank you!" the redhead turned his head too and grinned.

Hisagi kicked the other playfully chuckling, "Such modesty huh?".

Renji looked at himself, seed on his belly and inside him shaking his head in a comic way, waving his hands.."You're the one that left me in this state senpai, hungry aren't we?" he winked at the other.

"What? You were the one begging for me to make love to you.." he widen his eyes smiling and provoking the other.

The redhead pointed at him frowning comically "Begging is going over the board..I didn't beg.." he lift himself a bit up supporting on his elbows, tilting his head a few times from side to side grunting.."Hmm..okay, I did beg a bit." he looked at his lover and smiled widely making the other laugh.

Renji stood up.."Damn, it is really hot." he turned around and looked down at Hisagi, "I'm going to take a bath on the stream, the water is really inviting, wanna come?" he said smiling.

"I'll be right there, I'm still a bit dizzy and breathless." it was his time to wink at the other smirking.

"Oh, I'm really that good huh?" he said this turning around making his short way to the stream.

"Ha, your cockiness doesn't know boundaries, seriously" he said waving his arm in the air.

The redhead was already inside the stream, the water wasn't cold and its depth was only enough to reach his knees so he sit down, water until his shoulders, leaning a bit against an average rock, the flow was really weak, it actually feeling good, relaxing him.

"Should I tell you where the word cockiness come from senpai?" he said out loud smiling teasing the other but he heard no answer. Did the other fell asleep?

"Hisagi-san.." he screamed. Nothing.

He felt a presence behind him and he turned around cursing " You know I don't like this fucking jokes Shuu-.." he trailed off when he turned back fully, still inside the water, he eyes widen with the sight right in front of his face, "..-hei?".The brunetted was crouched in the border of the stream right behind Renji, he had a devil grin on his face and his eyes were colorless, Kazeshini on his hands. He tilted his head to the side like a wild beast and made a move, attacking Renji.

Luckily he was a warrior and his instincts were fast as he used shunpo to get out of there and escape the attack. The redhead noticed as soon as he saw those eyes that Shuuhei was gone, it was not him, but what was happening? He never saw something like this. It seems the other was possessed.

"Shuuhei," he screamed, "Wake up!" the other attacked him over and over, laughing hysterically, Renji was able to punch him two or three times between his advances screaming desperately for the others name and for him to wake up. Nothing. Those blank eyes belonged to a demon, that grin to a monster, who was this?

The fukutaichou of the sixth was panicking, he didn't knew what to do, the creature wasn't backing down, his lover soul was absent, in one of his escapes he managed to grab his clothes and Zabimaru, he hidden behind a tree and dressed himself fast. crouching, he placed his hands on his head clenching his fingers painfully, "Fuck, what is this, what do I do..just fucking fuck..I can't fight him, it's not him, should I?" he punched the tree and calmed himself down.

Grabbing his zanpakutou he felt the spirit uneasy, it was no simple thing.

"Howl, Zabimaru." it was the first time his zanpakutou shikai release made his heart skip a beat.

In the darkness of the wood, he saw a chain attached to blades coming at his direction in a crazy speed, he was fast to deflect it, then another behind him and he used shunpo noticing his lover form, he was still fighting naked, Renji frowned at that.

They fought for several minutes, this soul or whatever it was, was much more aggressive than Hisagi, more unpredictable, Renji deflect as a much as he could trying to not attack, he wouldn't know how much he could keep with. When they clashed their blades the redhead looked inside those hateful eyes and for a fraction he swore he had seen the usual black pearls, he faltered for a second and when he noticed, a blade was rushing against his neck which wasn't cut by luck since he managed to defend with his sword in the last moment, a fighter that looked like his lover hovering in the air above him, chains waving making a death sound, another part of the zanpakutou of the other hand ready to another blow.

"Hello there!" a hideous voice came from his lover mouth.

Renji narrowed his eyes, his face was red from the rage and anger he was feeling right now, "Who the fuck are you?" he screamed forgetting his own situation.

The other threw his head back and laughed in a hysteric and horrific way.

"Leave him alone." he screamed again, the other just laughed.."I asked..who the fuck are you?" he screamed even louder angered.

"Kazeshini" and the creature smiled, waving his weapon in the air to give the final blow grinning like a maniac as Renji was petrified from the shock not managing to move.


	4. Hope

Suspending on the air, his crimson hair waving by the wind touch Renji was breathing hard and fighting to maintain his focus,the smell of iron hitting his nostrils, Zabimaru on his right hand taking a defensive position, he looked by the corner of his eye to see the damage on his left shoulder, his robe was ripped and the cut was deep, the blood was still pouring out of it, he couldn't move his arm and it was a hideous bruise from the front of his left upper part of the chest, passing above the shoulder and ending in the back part, still he was lucky if he hadn't deflect it on time it would be his head popping out of his body with a clean cut.

His deep frown was an evidence of how much it was hurting and the monstrous creature was laughing like a manic above him a few meters away. Clenching his hand around his zanpakutou hilt, the fukutaichou couldn't even start to believe and understand the situation and what caused it, one second everything was perfect and in the next hell broke loose, but how? Sure Renji knew about Shuuhei constant fight with his zanpakutou spirit and how much that influenced him and his personality but to the point of being possessed by him?

The pain was excruciating and the redhead was loosing his sight, it began to get blur, he would think of those problems later for now he just wanted to find a way of bringing his lover back and to make sure they would be both got out of this alive.

He focused on Kazeshini using the body of his partner and how he would manage to take and deflect all the attacks, it was very difficult, Hisagi only for himself was very powerful and with his zanpakutou overtaking his body and mind with no human filter just the desire to destroy, this would be almost an impossible chance to win but he was decided to bring the other back with the less damage possible.

The next he knew the other was already in the air swinging the chains making the blade rotate in an impossible speed, Renji breathing hard trying to figure what the other would do next.

"Stop this shit, get out of him." the redhead was furious, he yelled at the other already knowing the answer.

"HAHAHA...You're pathetic, both of you are." Kazeshini laughed devilishly in a horrendous way.

"Hisagi, I know you are in there, HISAGI!" he let out a desperate scream.

"He won't come.", the creature grinned, "I made the precious thing to destroy him, I started with his mind and then I took over his body." he laughed again historically, "The fuck? What's the use of having someone to use my skills if he doesn't want to? Fear?", he made a disgusting noise and spit to side, "I spit on that shit HAHAHAHA".

Renji widen his eyes speechless, so much anger was running through his body that the pain of the wound passed to second place, it was almost like his fury was anesthethizing the cut, for seconds he thought of going all out and destroy that spirit, but that spirit was in Hisagi's naked body and the last thing that could happen right now is for him to loose the focus of that.

He tried to think again on a way out, he wanted to reach the other, but it was Kazeshini, as long as he had the weapon on his hands he couldn't get near, it's a long distance attack and Renji knew that full well, his own zanpakutou had similar ways of dealing but regarding this one, there was two blades, so he can attack with one and defend himself with another.

This was getting hellish frustrating and the other's grin was teasing him to the point of madness and he had to make a move, he couldn't just deflect the attacks forever. The redhead knew his shunpo ability was a bit slowed down by his wound, he had luck it was on his left side.

"Zabimaru!" he howled commanding his sword, handling it like a whip, the various segments stretching front with the power and speed he managed.

The attack was defended with a blade as he was already expecting, he withdraw his sword and swung it it the air for the next attack, knowing he was a open to be attacked, a flaw his weapon had. Jumping a bit up he whipped it again and it was another worthless attack, again and again, he was getting tired, he thought for some seconds to use his bankai and end it all but it was Hisagi, no, he had hope that he could bring the other back and he would do it.

This was a never ending circle, they would attack at distance, both defending the attack at the same time they were advancing. Kazeshini swirling its blades in the hair and Zabiramu preventing them to go further.

Loosing his balance for a second doing his wound that started to bleed again, Renji only deflect one of the blades not noticing the other coming by at his right side, it was too late, the chain was already around his neck, suffocating him, the redhead shut his eyes hard trying to not give up to the pain, concentrating to not lose his senses.

"Kubikake..".

Renji only had time to wide his eyes at that word for he knew what was coming, almost at that same second his body was pulled by the neck with the chain with a monstrous force and speed in the direction of the spirit wich was expecting him with the other blade already in his hand, a maniac grin on his face.

Kazeshini pulled Renji to him and suspended him in front of his body for a few seconds, piercing the blade on his right leg, the redhead howling with pain and trembling engulfed by the chains were giving him the time of his life, the zanpakutou spirit laughed in amusement. Then he sent the other to the ground, various meters from where they were standing. Renji's body passing through trees, the branches scratching and cutting him all over until he hit the ground, with such power and speed that the soil and rocks were projected to the air, creating a curtain of thick dust and an average hole around his bruised figure.

His body hurt all over, he was bleeding from numerous spots of his skin, his hair was a mess and he could feel hot liquid running through his forehead, the pain was unbearable, his clothes were all torn and the chains were still squeezing his neck hard. He couldn't open his eyes, he only saw dark, inside of his head he had the sensation of dizziness, like his body was spinning and his feet and hands started to grow numb and cold, he would loose his senses soon.

Suddenly he felt a presence beside him, Kazeshini would kill him now, even with his hand in that state he clenched Zabimaru's hilt for defending, he didn't knew if he had the strength be he would not give up.

The spirit walked around him and the redhead opened his eyes for a second, although Hisagi was beyond gorgeous, this creature inside him deformed the beauty of his lover, the skin was darker and more rough, the eyes were all blank without expression, the frown was hideously deep and twisted, the voice was something throaty but at the same time high pitch, he really couldn't tell but it was horrendous, the grin was the scariest thing Renji had ever saw, and of course all of his lover's personality was gone.

Kazeshini stopped looking down at the defeated shinigami, grinning at him, pulling the chain for his amusement, then he pressed a foot on Renji's shoulder above his wound, more blood coming out, laughing like a psycho as the redhead arched his back, shut his eyes hard and howled in pain.

"Isn't the smell of blood great?" and he continued to laugh like it was the most funny thing he ever seen.

"Shh-shut...", Renji tried to speak but failed.

"What did you say?" the other placed his hand on his ear making fun of the other, "I can't hear you.." he sang and pressed even more his foot making the shinigami to howl once more, " Ha, you are pathetic, that's the sound of weakness, going around saying you want to save your friends and all but you know the truth, don't you?" he laughed, "Seriously...how many battles did you won?..ah?...Hahahaha...", the sound was hideous, "I hate people like you, powerful and yet weak, if you have the power you must win and kill, kill, kill. And what did you do?...Nothing." he shook his head, "So pitiful, it makes me sick, you can't even fight me because I am inside your lovers body and I am his zanpakutou, you couldn't even save Rukia, you couldn't save Orihime, you can't save anyone!" he laughed again and leaned close to Renji's ear "I know you think of yourself as a stray dog, nothing better than anything, that you would slit your throat in frustration if you had the courage for it, don't worry, I'll do that for you!".

Kazeshini placed the tip of the blade close to the other's neck ready to cut the sensitive flesh already bruised from the chain.

Hisagi opened his eyes, waking up in discomfort feeling all of his right side wet. Everything was dark around him, some putrid smell hitting his nostrils. He sat up and looked to his sides more than once, nothing. It was just darkness, the air was heavy and thick. Where was he? Wait why was he wet? He looked down and his eyes widen as his breaths started to sped up feeling, feeling his body freeze...it was blood, dark red liquid all around until his ankles, like an infinite pool of crimson just like the darkness around him. He stood up fast, his fingers curling, not muttering a sound in shock.

His breath was speeding up as his anxiety and panic grew, he looked at himself and noticed he was naked, that rang a bell, he was with Renji having a wonderful time, all that he remembered was feeling very tired all of a sudden and falling asleep.

He looked around him again...Nothing. He started to run, where, he didn't knew, he just wanted to find Renji, something, getting out of there, that horrible place. As he was running he stumbled in something and fell, it had a weird texture, soft but strange. He shivered disgusted, his body covered in blood, he glared at the spot he stumble and his eyes grew wider as he noticed it was an arm, just the member, as he was standing up he noticed the body parts all around him, arms, foot, legs, eyes, guts, ears, scalps, hands, knees...he felt nauseous bringing his hand to his mouth almost vomiting.

A hard pain hit his head and he blanked out all of a sudden, blinding him because of how strong it was, he crouched screaming in agony, his hands pulling his dark hair to the point of actually detach some locks.

And suddenly like some sort of film or memories long lost, he was watching everything inside his head, tears started to run down his face and he shook his head countless of times, he was trapped inside his own zanpakutou's world and not the other way around as it should be.

Was he not careful enough? He thought he had everything under control, much more now that Renji offered to help, why? How? He punched the ground hard, messing the blood around, drops of blood splashing around, as he was seeing inside his head what was happening outside that putrid world, his eyes shut down hard, but tears still flowing out and his heart, his heart was beating so fast and hurting like never before, he felt so powerless.

"No, please... not Renji." he begged to somewhere, "I am so powerless. Why this?..It was precisely this I was afraid of." he stood up not knowing what to do, "Renji fight fucking back goddamnit.." he yelled in the middle of darkness desperate, his anxiety making him scratch his throat.."Fuck this shit.." he punched himself to calm down.

He steady his breath slowly, he opened his mouth to say something but no sound was heard, he tried again breathing deep, "Kazeshini..." his voice was firm and apparently calm, watching Renji in that state mixed with his own feelings made Hisagi realize something, "...you are hideous and monstrous, only by feeling your spirit around I would be terrified if you made me snap and I surpassed you but nevertheless you are a part of me, so I suppressed a part of myself too which clearly left us to this situation...I piled up your feelings together with mine.".

To his surprise he felt the air thickness getting a bit lighter, he looked up as inside his head he sensed Renji's pain and another tear ran through his cheek.

"Our paths are linked, you don't like it and believe me when I say I don't particularly find it good, but as I said you are a part of me and we have to deal with that, I promise I won't surpass you anymore and you will not choose my path because we are together in this and we are one."

Hisagi clenched his fists, what he just said messed up with all his body and mind, after years of pushing to the side the urges and the needs of his zanpakutou, all he did was piling them up not controlling or resolving them, what a fool he was.

By the time he had done talking Kazeshini was near Renji humiliating him, he tried with all his might concentrating to take over his true body and mind again, digging his nails in his own flesh in desperation.

He wanted to go away from here, to his lover's arms with his refreshed resolution, without fear and even if he had fear, he wouldn't be alone, fighting side by side with that man in battle as in life.

He watched as Kazeshini almost ripped Renji's throat loosing control again and screaming in despair only to swallow it dry and stuck up with it because he couldn't loose the concentration now, he couldn't, the life that was at stake was too precious for him.

Renji was breathless, he looked at the blade trembling and haunting his throat, then he looked at Kazeshini noticing a shade of grey in those hateful white eyes and his own softened.

"About damn fucking time..." he whispered. He knew not everything was saved, in this point it was up to him too. He knew Hisagi was giving his all on the other side and there was hope.


	5. Coming Back

He was almost back, Renji knew it, his senpai was not gone, he was fighting somewhere else, a dangerous fight, a mental one, the most difficult a man can be faced with.

He felt the grip on his neck by the chain loosen a bit, noticing the slightly lack of concentration in Kazeshini and he was going to take this final opportunity, it was now or never. Gathering all the strength that it was left in his body he clenched his hand around Zabimaru and the other hand he grabbed the chain trying to remove it from his neck, he closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, focus on his already low spiritual power gather all of he could get, this attack will make him defenseless afterwards and his zanpakutou will suffer too but it was worth a shot.

He opened his eyes and looked at Kazeshini, he was still battling with his mind, Shuuhei was distracting him, lifting Zabimaru Renji commanded:

"Higa Zekkõ!", Kazeshini widened one eye at this and suddenly the zanpakutou's segments detached from each other and were shot away to the sky.

Visibly fighting with Hisagi in his inner world, the creature growled already in a state of madness, his eyes going wild as he tried to get a stronger hold on Renji with his chain, his veins popping out on his forehead as he looked up above only to see the sharp pieces of metal going down to his direction with an amazing speed.

For Renji this was his only opportunity to bring down that body used by the zanpakutou, he was going to hurt him, he knew it but it had to be done, there was nothing more destructive for him to loose his senpai for the spirit and he had to fight back, if by any chance he was killed, his senpai could feel guilty and not come back. He also knew that this was a battle only Hisagi could win, only him could resolve this in the end but as he promised he would help, he would do what he could and needed, for his friend, for his lover, for his companion in battle even if that means to hurt him.

Suddenly feeling the chain on his neck losing the grip to finally unwrap totally from his skin, he watched as Kazeshini jump and deflect some of the segments being hit only by a few and some only scratching his skin, the ones that hit weren't in dangerous spots but the spirit growled in pain waving around the blades deflecting the rest throwing them away, some hitting the floor right beside the redhead. Then he glared back at Renji screaming, "You fucking monkey..", removing the segments of his body, growling and cursing.

The lieutenant of the sixth focused on Hisagi's body as he watched blood pouring out of the holes on his skin left by the blades and the hideous deep scratches, it wasn't serious, the attack wasn't even made with his power in check but still Renji mentally asked for forgiveness, he couldn't stand to hurt him but he also couldn't die here.

Still lying on the floor as the other was growling in pain, Renji knew he wouldn't last much longer with his senses up, the blood he lost together with the time he was provided from air was definitely taking over his body. Hissing and biting his lip he tried to move, to at least get up, he couldn't use again his zanpakutou in shikai for a some amount of time because of the earlier attack but he had to do something, he would think later as soon as he manage to move.

The segments disappeared and his zanpakutou turned back to his normal sword format, he clenched the hilt, he wouldn't have much more time, Hisagi was definitely trying to come back but the spirit was still strong. With all his strength, Renji carved his sword on the ground and used it for balance to sit up, breathing hard he glanced again at Kazeshini and frowned.

The spirit was grabbing his head with one hand, the other was swinging the blade in the air and he was muttering something Renji could not hear clearly. Another hard push and the redhead was on his foot, sweat was dripping from his forehead mixed with blood. One thing he knew watching the spirit display, he wasn't stable, somehow something was happening inside his head and it was Hisagi, the redhead knew for sure. He got a bit closer still thinking in what to do, he thought this moment was definitive, he approach a bit more and he heard, the voice trembling.

"Get away, get the fuck off..." Kazeshini spoke like it was going to break, "No, I'm not the same.." suddenly he screamed, "We're not the same, we're not the same..", he started to swing again the blade in the air trying to hit something, "We're not together anywhere!" he screamed again this time growling like a demon.

Renji widen his eyes and slowly, his face twitching from the pain, grabbed his zanpakutou into a defense position, placing both hands on the hilt and holding the blade right in front of his body, he though it was a matter of seconds until the other broke loose and attack him mercilessly but that didn't come, instead the spirit held his head with both hands, throwing the blades away for the redhead surprise and clenched the nails on his forehead, the body crauched on the floor and got silent.

Renji still with his sword int he same position got closer again and suddenly Kazeshini started to scream, lying down and pulling Hisagi's raven hair roughly, some locks coming out, the redhead frowned in confusion he was really unsure about what he could do. The spirit got quiet again and still, Renji stepped closer still frowning, "Hisagi-senpai?" he whispered but nothing.

Step by step he got besides the body and his eyes widen and he automatically threw his sword away grabbing the limp body, shaking it.."Hisagi-san!" he screamed but the other had no reaction, the eyes were still open but soulless, not even Kazeshini was there, it had nothing, it was an empty shell.

Panicking Renji cupped Shuuhei's cheeks, getting on top of the apparently dead body,"Come back...damnit! Come back!" he screamed. Shutting his eyes in the hope this was a nightmare Renji opened them again, a knot was on his throat, he couldn't think anything, he couldn't do anything, he just wanted him back. He kissed Hisagi on his lips, tears already coming out of his eyes,"Hisa-...Shuuhei you belong here...come back to me!". Breathing hard he let out a desperate scream "Come back!".

Hisagi ran, he ran as fast and far he could breathing hard, it was getting difficult with the thick air all around, his eyes now adjusted to the darkness inside this world that seemed to have no end..everything was exactly the same, darkness above him and a morbid massacre below, the smell of blood was almost intoxicating making him sick almost to the pint of throwing up.

Seriously, was this really his hidden feelings? Did he pushed inside so many anger, loneliness and sadness to end up with an inner world like this? The home of his zanpakutou, his soul mate in battle that Hisagi didn't like, didn't feel attached, didn't trust. There was no bond only a fight between two wills, Kazeshini's eagerness to come out in full freedom with his wild nature and Hisagi's constant battle to push him down, into the pit, below the layer of his behavior.

Suddenly the tattooed man stopped running and stood still, breathing hard, clenching his fists and his eyes widen in realization, he left his feelings alone, he let Kazeshini alone and that's why this happened. They were not that different, all this time Hisagi pushed away his darkest feelings and put them locked somewhere inside he pushed all to his zanpakutou which was a part of his soul.

Kazeshini was alone, trapped inside this world, only negative and harsh feelings were his companions, Shuuhei looked at his body covered with the blood from the floor, then to the crimson pool mixed with the macabre soup of it together with the detached body parts.

He sighed, no wonder his zanpakutou spirit tried to take over him, to gain freedom, his fear transformed both of them in fools, one had lost his reason, the other has lost his will.

He felt that outside the fight had calmed down, he sensed inside his head and he could see Renji already in his foot, then on top of him and he was confused, suddenly his connection to the outside world disappeared, he didn't knew how to get it back since it just happened and then stopped.

He needed to get out of here and come back.

"No, you are staying here." he heard a voice and he looked around but saw nothing. He knew who it was.

"Kazeshini.." he said firmly and calm, not even he knew how.

"No, you listen to me.." the spite could be felt all around that place, "You think is over? It's not and never will be, I will take over you and steal everything you have, you don't deserve it, you're weak..how come weaklings like you have it all?".

"Kazeshini.." he repeated again.

"Stop it!", he screamed, "I'm disgusted by hearing my name through your mouth!".

"Are you alone?" and Hisagi was on it, on the path, he was going to the encounter of his other self, the feelings he had shut down, "I can feel you are."

"What?" and a dark shadow was in front of Shuuhei, it had no distinct form, it was just a dark fog.

Hisagi turned to it, his head tilting to the side and a tender look on his face, "I want to hear you.", he

stepped closer.

"Get away from me, get the fuck away from me" it howled like a beast, it looked scared.

"I did not intent to make you suffer like this, nor even I or Abarai but there are some feelings I can't comprehend, I can't deal with them and I shut them down, I pushed them inside and with that you took them all." the raven haired man looked around him, "I left you alone to deal with them and resulted in this..".

"Shut up..shut the fuck up.." Kazeshini screamed scared making the fog trembling but it was not threatening, perhaps it was understanding and accepting it.

Hisagi felt the air going a bit lighter and sighed, "What is fear? Would I know this would happen and made the same mistake?" he smiled, "I know..you have no fear, you can't possibly know or understand, it is really a strange feeling, it warn us of danger and it's suppose to protect ourselves..".

"Protect?..Ha what a joke" the other spoke like he had spit on his words.

"But if it's not well measured it can block us for getting further, like it blocked me to unleash you and getting more powerful" the air was getting lighter each second, "It made me afraid and your anger rise, I can't possibly imagined how much you suffered all alone in here, with only the most hideous feeling wandering through the darkness, teasing and massacring you.". This was good, finally Hisagi was getting it all out of his chest and for the first time having a connection with his zanpakutou.

"They were your feelings." the voice calmed down and even the place was becoming less dark.

Hisagi nodded.."They were and they are..".

"Go!" the other ordered.

"Kaze-..."

"Go!", Suddenly for the first time in years this world became peaceful and Hisagi could feel it going through his body and mind.."Go back to him." the spirit was finally understanding the shinigami and the other way around, "Next time, come here by your free will.".

The lieutenant widen his eyes and suddenly he could feel his body going away, his mind too, untill all was blacked out and he gave in into darkness.

"Come back!" Renji screamed again and again, not giving up, he was not going to lose hope right now, he shook the body a few times again, caressing Hisagi's cheek, kissing his lips, "For fuck's sake, come back!". His body frozen as a shade of grey appeared in the soulless eyes, he stood still for a few seconds as he watched his lover blink and breath deeply, in a state of trance still euphoria took over the redhead as he held the other close to him until he heard the other hiss and grunt, his body tensing.

Renji was quick to pull away and looked all over the other, the wounds, of course, he didn't had them before he got away, or whatever that was, he cupped the other cheeks and leaned noticing the frown on the other face.

"It was me..it was me, I'm sorry" tears were running down his face. He felt a rough hand on his face caressing it and looked at it, then back at his lover, "It was nec-..", a finger was on his mouth as he noticed the frown had disappeared instead there were soft eyes looking at him and the redhead sighed in relief.."Fuck..you're back." he smiled through the tears.

Hisagi was terribly tired, to the point of passing out but this, there was nothing in the world that could be compared to it, he was again in his lover arms, back to his world, both were alive and he had managed to form a bond with his zanpakutou, it was still frail and easy to break at any second but it was a huge step.

He could feel his strength going away but first he lift a bit up and kissed lightly Renji on his lips smiling, "I'm home.." a tear ran down his face.

"Welcome back!" Renji grinned and held carefully the other knowing that they would fall asleep like that at any second from being exhausted, both int he middle of the dirt, bodies in a mess, weak and powerless, they weren't in danger and probably someone would find them since they couldn't even walk in their state.

Hisagi was the first to fall asleep and Renji put his arm below the other's head to give him support, he placed his head ont he naked shoulder and rested there as a soothing darkness came over him, Hisagi was back.. this was his last thought before he fall asleep smiling.


	6. Shuuhei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for character's death and I'm dying inside, crying my eyes out. I'll never do this again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic was unfinished and it was painful to me to leave it like that so after three years its finally done, I'm still not sure about it but its done.

Walls all bathed in white, silence, a sooth silence and a fresh flowery scent. Hisagi breathed deep opening slowly his eyes, almost instantly he knew where he was. The fourth division. Damn he had slept a bunch of hours again, his body was mildly fine but the damage inside his soul was definitely significant. As he heard two days ago when he woke up for the first time, Kira had found the two completely without senses following their reiatsu and it was him who brought them here.

Right beside him, on the other bed Renji was still unconscious, although he was strong his body was severely damaged.

"He still hasn't woken up" A voice came from his left and Hisagi turned slowly his head to see who it was.

"Kira?" he blinked slowly.

"He hasn't woken up once, he lost too much blood, his reiatsu is very weak and apparently the soul particules are taking a long time to adjust.."

Hisagi frowned not muttering a word, it was his fault..well Renji would hate that he would think like that but how could he not? He didn't wanted to think like that either but the circumstances had led to this. He turned his head to the right and stared at Renji for several minutes just watching him. Long red hair down his neck and chest which was completely bandaged, so was his neck with still red marks on it. His chest slowly going up and down with the weak breathing. He just looked like he was sleeping peacefully although the truth was much more darker, why wasn't he healing?.

Kira stood up from the stool beside Hisagi's side and sighed while going besides Renji's bed and sit close to his feet.

"No one knows why he keeps bleeding, no one knows why spiritual energy is still coming out..Unohana-taichou is personally taking care of him and she found nothing so far." Kira frowned and placed his hand on the other foot, his thumb caressing it a bit.

Hisagi felt sick, numb, not only the previous events had drained him completely internally this wasn't suppose to happen not at all, it was suppose to be the opposite, nothing made any sense, confusion and chaos filled his head and soul, his eyes watered. His body was still numb too,he could barely move, only his head, his eyes not leaving Renji for a second.

"Stop Hisagi-san.." Kira said smoothly.

"What?" Shuuhei was able to mutter trying to hide his weak voice in a silent sob.

"Blaming." Kira looked at him now and shifted to the other bed. "Abarai-san would do every single thing again and its not because its you Hisagi-san he would never let any friend get hurt not since the episode with Rukia, you know that". He nodded.

Hisagi nodded too "I know but.." he swallowed a sob, "That.." he glanced a couple of times between Kira and Renji stopping on the blond for now, "..doesn't make any sense. Kazeshini and I entered in sync, his wounds weren't fatal, goddamn he is a taichou level." the brunette eyes were red , completely wet but not letting a single tear escaping, his eyebrows heavily frowned and his voice weak and hoarse and obviously angered and sad, a total mix of feelings he even couldn't understand.

Footsteps were heard entering the room. Hanatarou walked in with head low nodding to the others "Hisagi-san good morning, I'm glad you woken up" he nodded again but his face showed a numb and fake smile, the care taker left food and water close to Hisagi's bed "You need to rest plenty , orders from Unohana-taichou" he tried to smile again. Hisagi just looked at him and at the plate and food, the room, the movements, everything was in slow motion, he couldn't had any reaction but suddenlyhe felt something, more like something was missing, he managed to grab Kira's arm making the other look at him, "Hisagi-san?". Shuuhei eyes were wandering, his orbs were trying to reach something, what he was looking for was something inside him, a soul that wasn't there anymore.

"Kazeshini isn't here." he widen his eyes to Kira which stood up and got himself in the field of Shuuhei's vision, he glanced over the other waist to Renji while another person entered the room but the brunette looked up at Kira when he answered him "You are very weak , must be that" he grabbed the glass of water trying to convince Shuuhei to drink a bit, he heard a light noise on the other bed cracking a bit and raise his head trying to see what was going on, the blond noticed and sighed, "Rikichi helps Hanatarou changing the bandages, it wasn't suppose to be him but you know how devoted he is to his senpai.." he looked over his shoulder frowning a bit, "And his bandages get crimson red painfully quick" he turned his head again to Hisagi "I suggest you not to see it..", the older fukutaichou managed to pull away Kira's hand with the glass and looked him in the eye.

"Damn fucking right I will see!" It wasn't suppose for his body to move but he felt every inch of him trembling, what were they hiding? He knew, Renji was bleeding so obviously his body was in bad condition, if it wasn't healing that's natural, what were they trying to hide exactly.

It was only when Kira moved from his eyesight that every single drop of blood was out of Shuuhei's body, all the pain he felt was gone, all the thoughts, all air was out of his lungs, life stopped. That image would be forever carved inside his mind.

Almost every badage was taken, no, not bandages, red straps of cloth, nothing of white they had, all of them carefully taken by Hanatarou, gently unwrapping them while Rikichi helped moving also carefully and almost tenderly Renji's body as if it was made of glass. Indeed the wounds were still bleeding and the sheet was already turning red.

Hanatarou finished removing the bandages, slowly he started washing the muscled and tanned body with care, he cleaned the wounds extremely softly but as soon as he cleaned the blood, more blood was coming out. Awkward was, he bled slowly, very slowly as if something was killing him from the inside. Done with the cleaning the tow young boys carefully steady Renji's body and they started to groom and taking care of his gorgeous long hair.

Renji lied horribly peacefully, there were cuts everywhere which haven't closed one inch, some were small and only on the layer, some were big and deep, the flesh was still fresh and the smell of blood filled the entire room. Hisagi was petrified looking at him, he couldn't talk, he couldn't cry, he couldn't anything, it was just too terrifying. The wound on his neck was still open too, there were bruises everywhere, three days had passed, the fact that Renj was still in that state was horrid for him but there was something even more horrific going on on his body and that was what started to panic the brunette.

"K-Kira...?" he was finally able to say. The blond kept quiet because he knew what Hisagi was referring to. Actually it was what puzzled everybody, it was the sign that Renji was definitely dying, it was the reason Unohana couldn't do anything and the most believed theory because what was happening was the actual source of Renji's decaying.

"Kira for fucks sake what is that?" The panic rose withing Hisagi and he started trembling, the shock was so big it was the first time all his body could move. And after

"Kira, answer me, where are they?" he began to sound desperate. He couldn't understand anything.

Rikichi and Hanatarou looked at Kira and he looked at them back, he was not sure if the other would take the truth but hiding from him and him knowing later wouldn't do any better either.

With sadness the blond looked at Renji and then at Hisagi and after brief moments he talked slowly not even wanting to believe his own words too.

"Zabimaru is gone." he paused and gulped with no sound like he had a knot in his throat, "There's no trace of its spirit, his zanpakutou broke after twelve hours of being here that's why...his marks, his tattos are gone" he breathed deep to contain his tears too.

Hisagi was didn't took away his eyes from Renji while Kira was talking, he just remembered every inch of the gorgeous black marks that covered the redhead body and there was nothing left, nothing.

"But..Kira I don't feel Kazeshini, it's not with me and I'm not dying, you know damn well we can live without any power, any zanpakutou, we cease as shinigami but we continue to live in soul society..I do not understand!" he grabbed gain Kia's arm "What the hell is wrong with him...".

The blond bit his lower lip because now was the part that would hurt, "Unohana-taichou believes..i mean the only explanation.." he breathed deep again.."He woken up once." The brunette eyes opened wide and he was about to talk but Kira interrupted him "The body, not his soul, Kazeshini spoke and moved instead of him." Kira lowered his head.

"It..it can't be.." tears ran down Hisagi's face as he was almost knowing what the other was about to say.

"Kazeshini," Kira continued painfully. "..possessed him, we don't know how, maybe it was when you were both unconscious, its a theory.." he started to sob.."We don't know for sure but the most probable answer is.." he managed between sobs and tears while Hisagi was cracking to the bottom of his darkness just by his side, "He was possessed, Zabimaru was eliminated..and his soul too he has no soul Hisagi-san, only his body is here, nothing else here" and Kira placed his hand on his mouth to not talk anymore, for it hurt him too and sobbed silently.

Hisagi shook his head while crying "No..no no no no no, I don't accept it" he continued crying "I WON'T" he shoved the plate with food and the glass shatering on the closest wall. He breathe deep while crying, his lungs getting out of air, it was like he was drawing, just drawing in a sea of pain and despair.

Rikichi and Hanatarou cried silently too now wrapping new and white bandages around Renji's body, when they finished, they couldn't be inside the room anymore it was too painfully for them so they left quietly.

"It's matter of minutes or hours Hisagi-san.." he caressed the other shoulder for showing some kind of support but the blond didn't knew what to do, he himself was totally broken from all that.

"He's in an induced coma, you understand..we couldn't let Kazeshini speak for him, move for him..it is enough killing him from the inside out" he nodded holding a scream of pain inside, he had to be strong for his senpai. "I'll be leaving the both of you alone, sure you want to say some last words to him, no matter where he is..he will listen to you". He had to go now before he broke right in front of Hisagi but he will be close, just behind the door for any eventual thing to happen.

Hisagi could only cry for minutes, nothing made sense, it was a lie, it was a nightmare..at some point he started scratching his arms painfully to wake up..to his despair he felt every little scratch. It was happening. Guilt, pain, sadness, despair, numbness, insanity, death..suddenly he was powerless to this huge and heavy ball of the most horrible feelings someone could ever feel, he couldn't fight them, he just let them in while looking at Renji.

Touch him, he needed to touch him now, right now, this sudden urge was like punch on the back of his head and rolled out of the bed, still with no strenght to walk so he fell, he crawled, put his two arms on the other bed and pulled himself up with his red shot eyes and deep breaths, he looked all over the other body and with one hand touched his face...still warm. He got his face closer to the others and his cheek close to the other lips..he could barely feel the air coming out.

He looked at his beautiful face and gripped the other shoulder shaking him just slightly "Don't leave me renji, not now you idiot, we are finally together..wake the fuck up" he screamed desperately knowing he wouldn't but pain and despair were speaking much louder than reason.

"Don't leave goddamnit...fucking stay..I don't care if we aren't shinigami.." he said while crying like he never did before, between loud sobs, "We can live in any district just don't fucking leave me.." he leaned his head on the other shoulder while still crying, his face fitting the other neck.

"I love you.." he said between sobs, slowly in a low tone.

Suddenly his eyes shot up as he sensed and listening to a more deep breath and he got silent. Another deep breath in, Hisagi was petrified, his body froze and he started trembling.

Finally the breath was out with a subtle sound "Shuu...", Now it was the time for his head to shot up and with widen big red eyes the older man looked for any sign of life but even Renji's eyes were closed..but he heard it..it was definitely-, another deep breath in, the brunette was still like a statue in silent with no reactiong, not knowing what was going on but a little ray of hope was touching his heart which was beating like a drum almost wanting to throwout of his mouth.

"...hei."

Hisagi was about to scream for Renji but he didn't as he watched the chest going empty slowly which looked like the last breath to never go up again. He waited. In silence. The chest didn't moved for a couple of minutes and would never will again.

He gripped the other shoulders and carved his nails on the already bruised skin and screamed. A scream heard in all Seireitei, an almost inhuman sound that only sadness could provoke. A long painful call of despair from his very inside. He screamed until he ran out of air and his voice started to fail, no tears just a terrifying sound of lost.


End file.
